Count Stakula
ContractSOON

Night clerk of the crypt

Count Stakula

Count Stakula, a pale vampire in a red-lined black cape, holding a sharpened wooden stake

Every stake is counted before the sun clocks in.

Count Stakula at a wooden counter in a candlelit vault, inspecting hand-cut stakes

The Night Audit

Every evening, Count Stakula unlocks the west vault and audits the family supply of hand-cut stakes. He rejects soft timber, crooked points, and any bundle tied after midnight. At dawn, the approved stock returns to the cellar, arranged by length, sharpness, and likelihood of becoming personally inconvenient. He signs each tally in red ink and keeps the pencil sharper than the merchandise.

House Rules

  1. Sharpen Before Sundown

    Dull inventory earns a second night shift.

  2. Count Every Stake

    Missing timber always turns up near the coffin.

  3. Keep the Coffin Level

    Uneven sleep ruins the morning paperwork.

  4. Never Rush Dawn

    The sun can wait for a signed total.

Count your stakes before sunrise.